My Life Changes & Pre-Wedding Pictures!

Another weekend down, only two more to go until I get married. Yesterday at church we had Stake Conference and honestly I can say it was one of the best I've been too. Usually I sort of listen, and I don't take anything really away from it (my fault I know), but this time it was different. I was moved. I was moved to be better, and felt that prompting of get it together Savanna. I haven't felt that in a long time, that motivation to be better, I think I've just used the excuse of "well I'll be getting married, I'll make my decisions then", which is totally bogus and ridiculous. This morning thoughts of what I had learned still hadn't left my mind, and I'm sure that's part of the "do something about it". I'm just a mess of emotions, to feeling inadequate, to the feeling of fear of change, to the feeling of excitement and overwhelming stress. Isn't it just crazy? I mean I take it all in, because I've felt the feeling of "change" before.

I felt it when I graduated high school. I was no longer going to have my mom and dad there. I was moving on and being an adult. I thought I was ready but after the first week of school all I was just scared. I didn't want to make changes, I wanted to stay the same, but again it's that feeling of get it together Savanna. So I did, well and look my life was forever changed because of college and BYU-Idaho. 

When I graduated college and left for Vegas I was scared. Beyond scared. I remembered when I dropped my dad off at the airport, I cried and cried. I think my dad was scared a little because I'm the one who always has it together, but I was genuinely scared. Big town, a classroom full of students, and me just this girl from a little town in Idaho. Scary. I learned so much there, and even though I learned that I didn't want to live there forever, I found Sarah there, and well she's a friend I will have forever. Honestly, if I didn't have her there I don't know how I would have made it.

Then I graduated and I had NO idea what to do with my life. Pathetic I know. So my mom devised this plan for me to move to Florida and to take a job out there and live with my aunt. An aunt I knew but not really, I mean my grandparents were out there but still. When I said goodbye to my mom at the airport I flat out was ugly crying. I mean that cry that is so bad no one should ever really see it. I didn't want to go, but knew that I had to. I cried in the plane all the way there I'm pretty sure, and for the next couple of weeks actually. I had the hardest time embracing that change, but looking back I learned a LOT about what I believe and had the opportunity to share the gospel a TON! I would like to call this part of my life my mission, because essentially that's exactly what it felt like! It was fun to live in Orlando, and I met a lot of great people and grew closer to my extended family. I somehow always knew though that it would temporary!

Enter Idaho Falls and Rexburg, the place I never thought I would end up. A job sort of just fell in my lap and  I experienced so many things up here. I became Relief Society President, I forced myself to get involved by myself, and ultimately finding B and putting myself out there. I did things I never thought I could, and for once I fell in love with someone who fell in love with me. Now well I'm embarking on a whole other change. A change of something that's bigger than me. Something that I'm committed to forever. I am nervous, anxious, excited, and I'll admit scared. It's just a whole new realm of things that at one time I just didn't think were in my future. I am so happy though that this time I don't have to do this journey by myself, I have B. I know I'm ready to be married, it's just sometimes scary to think that now all my decisions involve a Mr. instead of just Me. 

It might sounds like I'm not ready for this next adventure or that I'm doubting but actually it's completely the opposite. I know the feeling of anxiety because it's a good thing, it keeps me on my toes, and makes the actual moment even better, because that feeling of peace knowing I'm doing the right thing in the right place makes it ALL worth it!

PS- now that I've got that off my chest here are some sneak peeks at our wedding photos! I don't want to flood the Internet with our photos yet, because we aren't married, but I can't hold it in very long! They turned out GREAT! Jaclyn Davis from Jaclyn Davis Photography (she also has a Facebook page you can follow) did them and I think they turned out positively perfect! 

And finally my super hot Fiance doesn't he look straight out of GQ?!