Do you ever have those moments where you just know you’ll
remember that time forever? Like you are instantly creating that memory and
saving it for later? Well that moment happened to be a year ago today. The
first time B actually kissed me and it meant something. You know we had kissed
prior but to him well it wasn’t the same. So you know these days sometimes
people kiss for fun, or hormones or whatever. Sometimes though you kiss because
it’s the only proper way to tell that person how you feel. The story is
actually quite great, and I love how it all happened, but I’ve never really
documented it, so I thought today it would be perfect to do so!
Last September and October were pretty rough for us, considering B was figuring out life and his feelings for me and I had already done that a while ago! So it was the weekend and B decided that he was going to go to Lava Hot Springs with his roommates and other girls and it would be better if I didn’t come. OK so he wasn’t rude about it, he just didn’t invite me. I knew they were going, and my feelings were hurt but I figured if we were just going to be friends this is how life would be. It was hard, but I spent time with friends that night and shopped and I actually felt like I could handle our situation.
The next day I got dressed up in my new outfit and decided to just drop by for a lost cookie sheet that I purposely left there or something (seriously that’s a stalker move, but it saved me numerous times for needing an excuse to talk). Wouldn’t you know that B was excited to see me! I totally played up shopping and acted like him going someplace without me was no big deal (even though I was freaking out inside). Our relationship was just so confusing that I never knew what to expect or even do, it was always just random. So we were just sitting there talking when he just kissed me, mid-sentence. I was just so shocked I didn’t know what to say, to which B apologized and said “I don’t know what happened just then, I’m sorry.” I laughed, and didn’t know if I should address it or just act like nothing happened. I just acted like nothing happened, but inside I was freaking out, butterflies, the whole works. Another minute went by and he interrupted me again with another kiss, to which he apologized again and then said “I’m sorry I just can’t help it, I want to kiss you.” Then well from there more kissing ensued. I just couldn’t believe it, and I think he couldn’t either. It definitely wasn’t planned. Well then I just left, to go watch another boy play football. HAHA! The funniest part about the whole story is B conveniently also showed up at the football game too… but that was totally planned (even if he still denies it to this day). We didn’t kiss either until a couple weeks later, but I knew that this time his kiss meant something to him too.
I guess the whole reason why I always want to remember this memory is because of the way I felt when he kissed me. I instantly created that memory of knowing how it feels to kiss someone you love so much, the butterflies, the feeling of time standing still for that brief second; you know all that incredibly mushy stuff. Do you want to know the crazy thing? I still get that feeling when he kisses me now, and he’s my husband…
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