Late Night “Burglar”

I know, I know. I'm not done with my California trip yet, but I had to document what happened to me last night because well, I always want to remember it. I don't like living by myself, anyone who really knows me knows that. I've been doing it for about 2 months and at times, yes, I do love sometimes. I can do whatever I want, but I'm a social person, and really I just miss a roommate to come home to and talk to about life and my problems. ANYWAY, last night was so hot in my apartment. Rexburg doesn't get too hot in the summer except for 2 weeks out of the year being this week and next. I was exhausted, so I put my pajamas on and laid down on the couch to catch up on my Bachelor Pad, of course I left the door open because it was HOT! I must have dozed off because when I woke up there was a man standing in my doorway. Ok, so two things went through my mind:

1. Where am I?

2. Holy crap I'm at my house on my couch with the door wide open at who knows what time in the morning. There is a stranger just staring at me, probably a predator, he wants to take everything I own including my virtue (I know, too much Law &Order SVU).

So of course I screamed, not like a scream on the roller coaster, but a scream that would hopefully wake the guy (who I pretend to think protects me) who lives below me. You know, I always wondered what I would do if I felt like my life was being threatened, would I be able to scream? The answer is YES. Next instinct, protect myself, throw the intruder off guard enough to escape through the back door. Since I had gone running my tennis shoes were right by the couch. They were heavy they could at least impair said intruder. So I reached down and threw my shoe as hard as I possibly could. I'm pretty sure I yelled something at the man, but I can't remember, all I remember was "haha, lucky me, I'm a darn good softball player, I can hit anything dead on!" When the intruder moved his head just as quickly as I had thrown the shoe I knew I was in trouble. Next thought "where's my iPhone?" I had been texting when I fell asleep so it had to be close. By that time I could hear the intruder talking to me, something about a police officer and just making sure I'm OK, and then I realized, this man wasn't trying to assault me, he was trying to help me. Then that feeling came after you've had a scare and I have to tell my heart to stop thumping so loudly. The conversation then went as follows:

Officer: "Miss are you OK?"

Me: "Well I was until you scared the CRAP out of me…"

Officer: "Well I was alarmed with the door open and it being so early in the morning. Just because you live in this town of Rexburg doesn't mean you shouldn't lock your doors at night, or ever for that matter. There are a lot of things that can still happen."

Me: "I usually do, but I must have dozed off. I can assure you I will never fall asleep with the door open again."

Officer: "Good to know, you can go back to bed now. Pretty good aim too."

Me: "Uh, thanks…"

Then he left, and I dead bolted the door behind him. I mean, I can see why he stopped by BUT why didn't he knock? OK so maybe he did knock, that's probably what woke me up. Why didn't he have a flashlight or something, rapists and burglars don't carry flashlights. I appreciate the hard working law enforcement of Rexburg, but please next time make as much noise as possible before entering my house so I don't throw a shoe at your head and then get arrested for assault. Pretty sure I'll tell this story for a long time to come because it is FUNNY, but I was SO scared in those brief 10 seconds that I was quite proud of myself for at least TRYING to defend myself a little.

Moral of the story: Maybe Rexburg should have a little more drama going on, so police officers don't have to go around looking for open doors.