Pictures and Memorial Day

I can't believe it's Memorial Day already! I mean that is the unofficial kick-off to summer. Usually my Memorial day is a lot more eventful, but this year it was quiet and peaceful, and spent with my B and it was most delightful. It was rainy and cold for most of it, which I'm so sick of, but we did get some things accomplished!

Friday night I spent with the gals from work. It was so nice to just go out to dinner and spend time with them, and just well talk. These girls I work with have become my best friends and they've been with me through everything! I'm so blessed to work with some awesome people! We went to the mall, but honestly I wasn't in the mood to shop (who am I?)!

Saturday I just wanted to lay in bed and just relax. This past week was rough (understatement of the year), so I read my book and watched Hulu and talked to B because he was driving back up to Rexburg. When he got here, it was just so good to see him. I'm so glad he's only in Twin Falls for the summer and I can see him every weekend, because honestly it's hard, but he's loving his job so that's always a plus.

Sunday we went to church and took engagement pictures. My sister Mariah is taking them and she did a great job, we haven't finishing them completely because well the wind and rain were horrid and my hair did not withstand the elements, but we still got a couple of great shots:

 This is a favorite, and totally candid, and the first shot of the day...

 

 Another candid shot, just making out in the alley way like every other person in Rexburg, haha!

I totally love this picture, even though I totally thought I wouldn't (because I always feel dumb not smiling)...



I love that my sister is able to take them because she knows what I like and what I don't. B and I had a great time though, and surprising a lot of pictures she captured we were just messing around and they look great. So more to come for sure!

Sunday night we went back to the house and B pulled out some old pictures, mostly mission pictures but still it was great to see them. I found this baseball picture amongst other things. I laugh every time I see this picture because I love his little mustache and at the ripe old age of 15 I know he thought he was pretty cool, and of course the all-star! He's just so cute!

Monday morning B made me breakfast and we just watched TV and then decided we better do something so headed up to Rexburg to fix up our yard and weed the garden. We also decided to have a BBQ, snocones, and then B took me to the Zac Efron movie "The Lucky One". Is Zac hot? Yes. Is it the best movie ever? Eh. It won't make you cry, I promise. We actually kept laughing because there was this old couple behind us and he could barely hear so his wife had to keep repeating the movie back to him. He even burped a couple of times and we were laughing pretty good.

This weekend our good friend Anthony got engaged to B's cousin Dani. So we were pretty excited about that. They are getting married a month earlier than us (I'm totally jealous)! So that means that I get to move into our house this weekend instead of in August. I'm nervous moving my stuff in and living in a house by myself, but I'm also excited to start decorating and making it our home. Pictures to come I promise. This weekend is going to be crazy, I only have 83 days until I'm married. Ok I have a TON to do still!

Who's Afraid?

My days have sort of blurred together lately it seems like. It's just one thing after another, and last night was no different. For the first time, in a LONG time I felt... fear.

I'm sure everyone feels afraid at one time or another in their life, but I was just consumed with fear I felt like there was no happy ending. I just kept crying and crying and crying until well I exhausted what I could. Then it would just start again. I couldn't explain why I was so afraid, considering everything I believe in and all the people who love me I just felt well...hopeless.

No matter what B would say I would just counter it with something pessimistic, with a well that won't work out, or that's not going to work, and I think one time I thought it's not worth it. Then I just cried some more because I was feeling so frustrated. The problem is there wasn't really a reason to feel that way. That's what caught me off guard, I mean I'm supposed to be happy for this new opportunity, it's what I need, it's what B and I both need. Wasn't this the answer I had been praying about? Wasn't this what I wanted? Why did I feel so afraid? All I wanted was the overwhelming comfort and peace and I couldn't get it, and no matter how many times B told me it was all going to be OK, I just thought, "he's kidding himself, there's no way we are going to be able to make this whole thing work out". As soon as I thought it I did a double take, I've never thought that, in fact it's always been the opposite. It's always been right, and this is what I've always wanted. Then came the fear... again.

Then I called my mom and cried to her and usually she makes me feel better but that didn't do anything, just made me feel worse. B couldn't even try, even if he was only the phone, I just kept getting mad at him. Then I was just so sick of crying I just decided to go to sleep.

When I woke up I still didn't feel any better, and I still don't have a happy ending to my episode last night because I'm still confused by the way I feel. Not about how I feel about B, or getting married because I KNOW that's right, and I know that's what I want. That should be enough, and then I read this quote from Jenn...

Sometimes you feel like you lose everything but all you need is that ONE chip to keep you in the game. Whatever that one thing is--hold on to it.

That's it. Hold on. Endure. It's when you are going through the bad things you rely on your bucket you've been filling up this whole time. It might not come all at one time, but it will come. It's all called FAITH. It also helps that I'm marrying one of the most patient people I've ever met, he tells me about a million times that it will be just fine. He's right though, it will be just fine.

Also, to my parents who continually give and give freely. I love you. Thank you for being everything I want to be someday and for helping me out when we need it the most. I will and would do anything for you, thank you for your sacrifice. I'm getting too emotional again... bless.

Ok and I'll chalk a little of this deep and emotional stuff to hormones ok?!

Have a blessed weekend. I'm going to spend it with some of those I love most, and I get one extra day with B and that in itself is worth it!

Twister

"If you are having a problem finding the right path, just look for one with all the obstacles"...

Someone posted this on their Facebook last night and I just cried when I read it. Lately it seems that is all I do, is dodge, or confront obstacles, and nothing is falling into place. The things that are supposed to work out don't, and the things that I thought were going to be OK aren't. I hate that feeling of waking up in the morning and knowing that instead of a problem being resolved it only gets worse. I made a new resolution last night though, a resolution to stand firm in what I know, and what I love. People may think bad things about me, they might have wrong or incomplete information, but that really isn't my problem. If you want to know the truth than ask. It's funny how you spend your whole life trying to please other people when all you need to please is yourself, and well God of course. My dear Jenn told me once, that something worth having isn't easy, and it wouldn't be love if it was easy all the time. So true. Love is wonderful, I'm so blessed to have found it, and it takes work to keep it. If it's real love then it will with stand all the the rocks being thrown at it, all the obstacles that clutter the path, and it will grow stronger. This life is not about things being easy, and it also is bothersome to think that I would take that path, or others think I take that path. No one knows what I struggle with on the inside, the doubts or fears I have, so don't insult me with words or "assume" anything. All I know is the people that love me, understand me, understand that I make mistakes, but still love me, and I love them. I know I am on the right path because I feel like I'm in the movie Twister...

Baby Showers and Fun!

I had the best weekend at home. Even though we didn’t really relax we got a lot accomplished and it was so good to spend time with B and the rest of my family. The weather was perfect and it made me really excited for the summer and the end of summer (obviously). Friday night we picked up B in Twin Falls and then we made another stop in Meridian. Here is the picture of B dancing in the parking lot, I just loved it. If you haven’t ever seen him dance you really should, he’s fantastic!

Saturday was JAM PACKED. I got up early to help my mom with Emma’s baby shower, and B went to start on Hyrum’s yard. We then hurried and ran over to Eagle to watch Maddie run in State Track. Considering everything that’s happened to her this year running in state is quite the accomplishment. Here is the only picture I got of her:

Later that night we had Emma’s baby shower. The boys went back over to Hyrum’s to work on the yard a little more, and we partied. It was great turnout and Emma got some adorable outfits and presents. Girl clothes are just so cute. She’s due on the 31^st, so pretty much anytime I could have a niece. That gets me so excited! Here are some pictures of the shower:

This was the shower theme, I should have taken a picture of they announcements because they were so cute!

My mom and Kenzie made the food, I just did those pom poms. It was great! My mom did these s'more bites that were to DIE for!

I should have taken a picture of how the boys looked when finally came up to the house. They were all so dirty, covered in dirt and all smelled like smoke. The yard is starting to look beautiful, and I can’t wait to see the final result! I’m so grateful that everyone is working so hard for me… I sure do love them all and all their hard work, dedication, and love!
I also got to kiss and hug baby Reece a lot! He’s barely 2 months old but weighs 16 pounds. Yes and he’s really tall. So you know, he looks about 6 months older than he really is. He is just a fat little marshmallow, but so cute. I just loved holding him. Liam is just as funny, he’s talking a ton now and has a spunky personality, so he’s always the center of attention. He loves B, when B walked in he said his name and ran right up to him. B was beat boxing and he was so fascinated he just kept trying to do it. He’s all boy and that makes him even funnier. They play pretty rough with him, but that’s ok!

Chunky Baby Reece! Love him!

Come Sunday night it was really hard for us to say goodbye. It was even harder for me to say goodbye to B at Twin. I don’t know why I cry every time, I’m usually not a big baby, but it’s just because he’s hard not seeing him all the time. He’s doing awesome in Twin Falls, and I’m so proud of him. I just wish we could be in two places at once! I know everyone talks about how mushy we are and how googly eyed we get, but I’m totally in love with him! Good thing too! I’m excited for this next weekend because I get one more extra day (thank you Memorial Day)!

Awkward and Awesome...FRIDAY!

To say that this week has been crazy is understatement of the year. So many things have happened this past week I take back my words when telling Jenn that my life is rather quite boring during the week without B. So without further ado here is my awkward and awesomeness (I know it’s not Thursday) of the week:

Awkward:

• I guess the biggest awkward that’s happened in a LONG time happened to me when we were swimming at my parent’s hotel. Let’s just say it involved 2 drunken people, one who was staying at the hotel and one that was not. He met her at Applebee’s and promised her a “good time” at the hotel pool across the street. You can only imagine why my parent’s returned back to the room only 5 minutes later after leaving and said, we are NOT going back there until the management comes. People these days, what possess someone to be that sick nasty, hello it’s a hotel ROOM, you can do that in there…
• The moment after you hear someone is getting laid-off… ugh and it’s awkward because you are so sad to see them go but a relief to know it’s not you, and I’m not saying that to be mean or anything, I just think it’s human nature to feel that way. I really really hate it.
• Feeling like you don’t matter or that no one cares. Oh or worst yet, feeling like you have to defend yourself all the time…
• Not knowing what these (…) three little dots are called in sentence. HA!
• Oh Relief Society Activities. Actually I met one girl whose name is Eliza Snow and she’s from Nauvoo (that’s AWESOME), her friend who wouldn't stop talking and one upping everyone’s stories was the awkward part.

Awesome:

• Best story ever and the reason why I wanted to blog in the first place is to document what happened to me on Wednesday! So Saturday afternoon we went dress shopping, well since it’s prom season they were so busy, I made an appointment for Wednesday night and went on my merry way. I was a little upset because I wanted my mom to be there, but I understood why she couldn't, she is a busy and it was during the week etc… so Wednesday afternoon my mom sent me a text and it said “Have fun trying on dresses wish I could be there”… so then I cried for a little bit just because I was sad my mom couldn't be there. So Sarah and Mariah came with me and we arrived at the store, and when I walked in I met the ladies and we were talking and turned around and there was my mom and dad IN THE STORE. So of course I started bawling and saying “what are you doing here?”… it was a moment I’ll never forget. They came up just to see me try them on. The best news of all is that I found one, and it’s perfect and beautiful and it’s lace, oh and only $580, so done and done. It was a great experience and I’m so glad that they love me enough to make that special trip down here just to see me! I have AWESOME parents! B was a little jealous he wasn't let on to the surprise, but he can’t keep things from me very easily either… still though… awesome!
• I get to go home this weekend for the following events – see Maddie run in State Track, Emma’s baby shower, engagement pictures, get all the wedding details rolling, and spend time with my love and family. So great!
• This past weekend when I first say B after a week of being apart, my stomach did a little flip when I saw him, that’s a very good sign…
• Remember how I mentioned B can’t keep a surprise from me? Well yesterday he was like oh I have a surprise, by the end of the day I totally knew what it was. So funny, but so cute!
• It’s funny how life has a way of working itself out, and the motto “It’s always a little bit better in the morning” is so true!

 Have a great weekend! Don’t worry I’ll take pictures!!

Roller Derby and Gardening!

Holy fast weekend. So rude. It was a great weekend though and I took pictures (I know imagine that)! Most of all I realized that B must have the patience of an angel because sometimes I'm not very nice... He's going straight to heaven for that.
Friday, Mindy, a co-worker, and I decided to drive to Pocatello and watch our very first roller derby. I was so excited, we first went to Red Lobster and then we drove around until we found what looked like an old state prison but it was actually a rink! It's everything you would expect and more. Actually it was a lot of fun, and by the end I got how it was scored and I totally want to try it sometime!

 Mindy and me at the derby!

 Lined up for the start of the Jam (or round)

 Knocking people over!

The outfits were the best!

We even got to see some really interesting people there! I recommend people going! The best are their names like Busty o'Azz, Triixie Terminator, Itza Trap etc... Oh and a video too!

Saturday it was finally time to see my love! First though that morning we went dress looking (instead of dress shopping) and I got really excited. Just because I saw a couple I can't wait to try on! Then I spent some quality time with Sarah and my sister!! B finally arrived, and it was so good to see him, I get the butterflies all over again (sorry didn't mean to be mushy). Then I had a great date planned but he ended up having to work a little more so it all sorta fell apart. I was a little upset just because I wanted to make it perfect, but we planted a garden  instead! We even had time for snocones and a movie! 

Here is our little garden. It's super precious and I hope it actually survives and doesn't die! I want to have some produce!!

Sunday we went over to his sister's house and had dessert and played with the nieces and nephews on their new trampoline. It was so fun! It was a great Mother's Day, I just wish I could have seen my mom... My mom is pretty much amazing, and I'm so lucky I was raised by a confident, smart, beautiful woman!

It sucks having to say goodbye every Monday morning, but we are only 11 weeks away! Doesn't he look like a GREAT salesman! 

Next weekend we are going to Parma! I'm so excited!! Here's to a great week, that will zoom by (hopefully)!

Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

Its Thursday already?! YES! That means 2 more days until Saturday! Hooray! I have some doozy's this week... ahhh love it!

Awkward:

• While Mariah and I were at Costa Vida last week we saw two couples on a double date, no big deal right? Oh yeah except for that before they ate they had one of the boys say a blessing over the food. Awkward because I could hear the prayer, but then I thought about what I would do if I was on that double date. Only in Rexburg.
• We were at Mariah's Cinco de Mayo party when her roommate proceeded to salsa dance for us. Ok not us, just B mostly. Gave him a nice show... haha, he just looked at me like, what the?
• I don't know what it is about the Dollar Store but people are either super friendly there or really weird. I was trying to stall for Mariah's surprise birthday party so we went in and looked at Mother's Day cards. This lady proceeds to tell us what to find in each section, which one is her favorite, and which one is the worst. Mariah and I tried not to bust out laughing.
• Watching all the college boys and girls awkwardly try to flirt and contain their hormones at Mariah's party. The best is when the same roommate (as mentioned above) asked a random boy to play with her hair... why did I not video record this moment?
• Getting buffalo jerky as my bonus for working on a project that took a month to do... um thank you? 
• Extra short skirts at the office make me feel super uncomfortable... 
• Awkward health conversations I'm NOT supposed to hear while in the office... I get the chills just thinking that I know what kind of STD's they were tested for.
• Having to feel sneaky on Pinterest because I'm afraid someone will steal my ideas... honestly...

Awesome:

• Getting to spend some quality time with my sister this week. Including her birthday, pedicures, tanning, and just chilling and talking. Love her.
• The man I am going to marry is incredible. I will spare you the mushy love notes he sends me, but they are so kind and sweet, and I'm so blessed to have him in my life. Distance does make the heart grow fonder. Not that I love being away from him, but it makes me appreciate him so much more. 
• The countdown for the wedding is in double digits... finally!
• I work with some great people, and not so great people, but some of my closest friends, I work with, and that's great!
• The great fun I had this past Sunday. B and I pretty much did everything we could think of, including eating Otter Pops.
• The Snoasis is open... HOORAY FOR SNOCONES!
• Reminiscing on Myspace with Jenn and Hyrum. Good laughs for sure!
• I finally finished New Girl. I just started watching it a couple weeks ago, and well, it's hilarious!
• The Avengers! The movie has now become my all time favorite super hero movie. Plus a lot of hot men are in it too. 
• 2 more days until I see B!

Countdown...

2 things to celebrate today:

First:

Isn't that just the craziest thing ever? I mean it's so far but so close. In double digits now... yes! I'm trying not to freak out because still nothing is really planned, but as Kristin tells me "it's only has hard as you make it"...

Two:
Happy Birthday to this beautiful, smart, funny, kind, gentle, and amazing girl.. my sister Mariah!

We often get told we look a lot alike, but I tend to think she's way prettier than me. She's officially in her twenties and tonight I'm taking her out on the town. Happy Birthday little sis...

Weekend Fiesta!

Ugh I'm so annoyed that my weekend is over. HA! It just means that B has to go back to work in Twin Falls. He did mention a lot over the weekend though that he was so happy to only work there so that he can enjoy the summer with me. Usually he's halfway around the country during the summer, and he said that Sunday's are the worst because you don't work, but you don't do anything else either. We utilized every moment we had this weekend, but it was all fun! B loves to make me do spontaneous things, because well I'm a super planner, and he's a go with the flow kind of guy... a good match right?

Friday I talked Mariah into getting pedicures with me. Since it was so last minute and so late in the day we went to Paul Mitchell (a hair school in Rexburg). To my delight they do Shellac and for so cheap I screamed with delight! Mariah and I were in heaven with our awesome toes! We even had time to get some Costa Vida (awkward story from there, I'll post about that later)! By the time everything was done it was pretty late and I wanted to get to bed so Saturday could come faster.

B's sister was down for the weekend so it was good to see her, she's such a delight! We had crepes in the morning and then decided to go shopping! I actually found some amazing brown sandals, and an outfit for the engagement pictures. My best find though was a store going out of business. I bought B 3 pair of dress pants for $40! My savings were $400! I was quite proud of myself. B and I had to sing in the ward choir for Stake Conference so I rushed home to change my clothes and guess who I met there? Yes... B! You would have thought I hadn't seen him in years... it was so good to see him though, and I realized how much I missed him. I'm pathetic I know, continue with the eye rolling... Our Stake Conference was actually really good and we sounded awesome, then we ran home changed our clothes and headed over to Mariah's for her Cinco de Mayo party. It was quite the fiesta, and B and I had a good time for the little bit we were there (and another awkward moment, to be shared later). We then made our way to The Avengers. Ok so awesome! I loved it so much, if you haven't seen it, you totally need to. B was in heaven, he was so giddy before he even started, and all the way through it but it really was great. We even saw it in 3D!

 B and I at the Cinco de Mayo party. Mariah who usually is a dependable photographer was a little annoyed with taking so many pictures. Rude... jk!

 Oh see he looks so happy...

 Before I was allowed to come in I need to receive a smooch!

My love, all ready to take me out! 

Sunday was great, after Stake Conference (and helping coral all 5 nieces and nephews) B and I did the following things:
Rode the 4-wheeler (which included chasing a jack rabbit at high speeds)
Played softball
Lawn Darts
Watched 2 movies
Rode bicycles
Skyped the kids
Had a BBQ
Took a nap
What a great Sunday! We accomplished much and just spent time with each other. I'm sad he has to go back today, but that's real life I guess. Only 13 more weeks of this... oh wow...

Happy Monday!

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

Ahh it’s Thursday again. I can’t believe it. Man how time flies when you are having fun (sort of)… I’ve had some great moments this past week, too bad I can’t divulge all of them because well you don’t want to embarrass people. Anyway, here are some awkward (can I add annoying) and awesome moments this past week, enjoy!Awkward (and annoying):

• I would like to know who made it OK to ask a stranger (pretty much) about certain private matters in your life. Asking me when I am going to conceive a child (unless you are family or good friend) I think is a little personal, furthermore, instructing me that I’m “a little old to be waiting” just takes it to a whole other level. I really don’t know you so why do you even care?
• Being told that you are ungrateful, lazy, and worthless really doesn’t sit well with me, especially when I didn’t do anything or say anything to bring on the mentioned adjectives. Don’t get me started, don’t even get me started...
• Potlucks at work are always so funny… there are plenty of awkward moments where you see people practically RUN to the food and hover until you ring the dinner bell. It’s always the same people too, makes me laugh, a lot.
• Quote of the day – “Your nails are black, should I be worried about you?”… Wow really?
• I really don’t like one-sided friendships, it just seems like if I didn’t do anything we would probably stop talking. I hate that, and please we are all busy, it’s not hard to say hey
• While working the front desk today this lady comes in boasting about her amazing cinnamon rolls and how she has 7 daughters and they each enter them in the fair and get first place every time. When I look at them, I know she's lying 1. no frosting, 2. they are still doughy.  Lady I know my cinnamon rolls! The most awkward part is I have no idea why she brought them in, or why she was even here in the first place.

Awesome:

• My black nail polish. I haven’t worn it in ages and I’m loving it.
• My new hair cut and color… It’s fantastic:

• How I can talk to B about nothing for hours and hours… I’m certainly glad he loves to talk to me to.
• Love notes…
• B totally killing it his first day actually selling. I’m so proud of him!
• Emailing Jenn… that girl is funny.
• Having a fiance who supports me in my decisions and is always on my side.
• Having a family that’s willing to help me out whenever I need it, like Hyrum spending his vacay to help me move, and Mariah for helping me pack up.
• Getting unpacked, and realizing it’s only temporary for the summer might not seem awesome, but to me it totally is because at the end of it all, I finally will have a permanent place.

Hurry Up Summer!

So my weekend pretty much consisted of this:

 

Ugh moving, how I despise you. Actually this time, it wasn't too bad. I just get freaked out when people just start throwing things into boxes because well I need to remember what what packed where. This time was different though because I had to pack things into two separate categories... Things that I will need for 3 months and things that are just going to have to wait until August. Which was pretty much meant everything into storage except for 3 suitcases and a bin. It was hard. I got really excited though that in August I can finally unpack EVERYTHING I own and actually use it. I was ready for the change, but still feel like my life will be in transition until August, either way I am happy I can be on my own again and have freedom to be an adult! Hyrum and Emma came up and thank goodness Hyrum was here. B and him pretty much moved everything, and I love them for that. I wanted B to meet Emma's family and especially her brother Taylor. Love him so much, he's so funny!

Today was a sad day though, B officially left for Twin Falls. I helped him pack what he needed for the week and then he took me to breakfast before I had to head to work. I know, he's only in Twin Falls, but I still won't be able to see him everyday. I managed to hold in my tears until AFTER I was in the car driving away. Last summer was just so hard on me, that I keep having flashbacks of it. The huge difference is that now I have a commitment (a 2 carat commitment)! No, I'm super excited for B, he has a great opportunity to prove himself and to work hard. It will be hard but we can do it! We have Facetime after all.

Since he left before me he had a chance to sneak up to my work and leave me the cutest note ever:

He made me cry all over again, because what he said was so sweet and tender. I sure do love him, and following my heart listening to my instincts make me the happiest girl ever. Gosh, hurry up summer!!