I get sick of pretending, I've just decided that it's ok just to be me. Once I had a person tell me that there's no use in pretending, they could tell how I was really feeling anyway. Hope that's true, because well I'm tired of pretending. I wear my emotions on my sleeve (thanks mom). It's funny because really I think there are only a few people in the world who really understand how you think and know how you feel, those people are the ones you don't have to pretend around, try and hold onto them, it's the only way to survive. I found this quote by Oprah yesterday and even posted it to Facebook, because well it just summed up what I had been feeling "
One thing at a time, take baby steps, be who you are and love it.
I've never really been a person to sit there and give myself pep talks, it just sort of plays out on its own. But lately I've had to do a lot of pep talks, like literally out loud say my mantra. I am sure if someone was to walk by they would give that "you're crazy girl" look.
I'm grateful for the listeners, who don't try to solve my problems, just listen. That's all I want out of life usually, you to just listen, then hug me and say "it'll all work out" or "it's ok".
I guess I've still got a lot left to learn, silly me, thinking that I had life figured out. There's that planner in me, thinking I've got some kind of control, but it's good for me. If God makes you do it, he'll help you through it. Done and done.
As if this post couldn't be any more random and indecisive, I have a fun weekend planned. Hyrum and Emma are coming up, so we are going to Footloose (hooray!), Halloween party (I haven't figured out my costume yet, either Pirate, Gangster, Mermaid...HA), some BSU Football, take my annual walk by the river to see the trees (I can't believe its that time of year again) and some Savanna time.
Cheer to the freakin' weekend (if I drank, I would drink to it)!
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